Monday. That is all.

Just a few notes before I dive into my thoughts: First of all, I have a moblog located at http://runxc24.textamerica.com. A moblog is basically a collection of images from a picture phone, and since I have uploaded some of my pics, I thought I'd share them with you. Secondly, this written blog has an atom XML feed, which means you can use your RSS reader to read posts. For those of you who don't know what this means, basically you can read my blog posts on the go-- even on your iPod. The feed is located at http://www.mattgibney.com/blog/atom.xml. Firefox users can also click the orange icon in the lower right of the window. Anyway, on to whatever I do, which is talk about nothing. It has come to my attention that 90% of the people who inhabit this world have just seen Napoleon Dynamite for the first time in the last week. Now first I say, congratulations on watching and enjoying such a high-quality, entertaining film directed by Jared Hess. In fact props to you. I am glad that Napoleon is getting all the attention he deserves. Great. But now is the part I beat all of you with a rubber hose. Where the hell have you been for the last three to four months? There's something called a theater that allows you to watch movies before they come out on video. Okay, okay, so they saw the movie a little bit later than I did. No big deal. Why should I care? I love Napoleon Dynamite! Why would I want to hinder the buzz concerning a hilarious movie? Because the buzz has gone, packed its things, and zipped off to Cancun, where the people there won't think to bother it because they're too drunk to care. The buzz no longer wants to be here, and do you know why? Because every flippin' five seconds someone is attempting a pathetic impersonation of the characters you and I have already come to love... from about four months ago. I already had my Kip voice perfected and locked in my memory for all eternity before any of these other nincumpoops could say "Napola-what?" This is my message to the people oh so far behind the present time: You suck. I despise you. Why must you annoy me everyday with horrific, pitiful imitations that would make Uncle Ben, the kindest, most loving person ever to market to the masses his convenient food bowls, turn in his grave. Did you like rice? Well now you'll be making yourself a dang quesa-dilla you moron, and I will never, NEVER give you even a look at my tots. Now comes an experience while I was commuting home from work. At the intersection of 70th and O, looking south, I was stopped at a red light (and no, this is not lyrics from some country song-- I was in my '94 Buick, not a Chevy "like a rock" truck). I was happily enjoying myself, counting how many seconds it took to change green so as to further my already advanced driving technique. However something happened that I did not expect, something so earth-shattering that no one could have seen it coming. It was official: the movie Spanglish sucked. I couldn't believe it. It was a dream come true. Anyway, as I stared ahead waiting for the light to turn, three teenagers, probably a year or two younger than I, pulled up next to me. With a bang they looked at me and revved their engine. I stared at them, and in an instant I was making numerous calculations (haha, pun). Could I win? Look at my car. It's a piece of crap, it goes from 0-60 mph in 24.4 seconds. Three of my four windows are stuck up (another pun). Is it possible? Is my car going to stand up and fight? Did I take a shower today? I looked at them again and nodded it was on. The light, after an eternity of seconds (actually 39-- I... um... counted) turned from red to green. Tires screeched and... well, I took off. 100 meters down the road, and I was winning, and the three kids backed down. Wait a minute, my 4 cylinder car doesn't have the slowest acceleration in the world? I couldn't believe it. And I know you're saying, "Maybe they didn't floor it? Maybe they let you win?" What? Are you crazy? No one would do that. I actually did win, in all honesty. The experience was a defining moment in my life. It taught me about life's hardships and the only way to get through them is to hit the gas. Well, it's Monday, and that was my weekend. Wait a minute, Monday? That means that 24 is airing in approximately 4 hours and 10 minutes. Rock on. Anyway, I seriously hope you have read this entire post, since hours of toil and pints of blood have been spilled throughout writing this. With that, I'm going to build a cake or something. -Matt