So it's come to this

April 14. Holy crap, I have left all you adoring fans with absolutely no blog posts for almost a month. But I have my excuses; thank you very much Bye Bye Birdie, I am happy to see you go bye bye. (Wow, just about the worst joke I have ever written?) It was fun though, especially when we finally got to perform it in front of a live studio audience! (Um... this is a reference to television... never mind.) Being reporter number three was a huge challenge. Memorizing my four lines took dedication and courage, not to mention hours of hardship and toil. I was particularly proud of my "I'll make sure we've got a wire to New York!" statement, in which I used perfect inflection of the voice that truly brought out my character. And let me tell you, I made sure we had that wire. I walked with it all the way from Sweet Apple my self. And the notebook, who could ever forget my infamous notebook, which will remain confidential until the end of time. For those of you who don't know, the notebook is not some cheesy, sappy lovey dovey, chick flick movie. It is my reporter notebook, shown to several of my classmates on stage during actual performances, the contents of which designed to do nothing other than to make people break character and laugh during the show. And it worked. And they hated me for it. The camera gag was another goodie. During parent night, the show before the opening, my cardboard camera plummeted to the ground. Seeing it on the ground, I did the only thing I could do. Freak out. It's on of those "had to be there moments", but it was a doozy. And finally, to top it all off, is a hot microphone backstage during the overture, and none other than Conrad Birdie himself saying "shit all over the floor", much to the surprise of over 400 audience members. They loved it though; if only they could have heard the rest of it: "Don't you know? If you shit in front of the fan, it oscillates throughout the entire room!" Good times. Wow, did I really write all that stuff about our musical? Looks like I had more fun than I thought. Anyway, on to what I really want to blog about. (Is blog a verb?) Smokers. And not just smokers by themselves, but old smokers. Do you ever notice that you rarely see old people smoking? This vague but true statement makes me laugh, especially because of how valid it is. I wonder where they all are! I can't really make a joke out of this without it being horribly incorrect, so I'll leave it to you. Remember pop up books? Those things may be one of the top ten inventions of all time. Nobody ever reads them, but everyone does try and fathom how flat paper could magically be transformed into a three dimensional object simply by opening the book. Seriously those things are pimp.