Philosophy

Sweet Ben Folds song. One of my favorites. By popular request, here is a copy of the start of the "Table of Contents" to my philosophy. TABLE OF CONTENTS (The table of contents is split up into parts. Roman numerals indicate various contracts. Capital letters are categories and integers are subcategories. Lowercase letters are specific codes.) Forward and Introduction Preamble I. Social contracts    A. Relationships with others       1. Immediate family          a. Parents          b. Brothers          c. Sisters       2. Relatives          a. Geographical location          b. Frequency of visits          c. Holidays          d. Baked goods          e. Second cousins          f. Disposal of       3. Friends          a. Establishing          b. Friday and Saturday nights          c. The pop-in          d. The three-way call          e. The small group          f. Car decorating          g. Refrigerator privileges          h. Borrowing CDs and DVDs       4. Dating          a. Advantages and Disadvantages          b. Starting          c. Maintaining          d. Exploiting          e. Gift-giving          f. Purchasing movies and meals          g. Phone conversation frequency          h. Having the upper hand          i. Ending       5. Other peers          a. The social leech          b. The know-it-all          c. The data processor          d. The Libby       6. Authority figures          a. Which ones to respect          b. Bypassing       7. People on the internet          a. Not really people    B. Activities with others       1. Bathroom breaks (for guys)          a. With urinals and dividers          b. With urinals and no dividers          c. With "tub" urinals          d. When using the stall          e. Automatic flushing          f. When there's no toilet paper          g. When there's no soap          h. Foam soap          i. Air drying or paper towels?          j. What to do when your fly is left open       2. Bathroom breaks for girls          a. Why everyone at once?          b. The real conspiracy          c. Secret underground conference rooms       3. The movie          a. Who should go?          b. You can't talk in a movie theatre          c. Buttered popcorn          d. Bitchy manager enforcing R rating          e. Chick flicks          f. The "good" theatres with rocking seats          g. Armrest etiquette          h. At someone's house       4. Coffee          a. Single or double?          b. Mochas          c. Why all the artsy fliers?          d. Purchasing items other than coffee          e. The little cardboard sleeves       5. Dining          a. Seating arrangements          b. Cloth napkins          c. Lemon in the water          d. Television orientation (for sports bars)          e. The meal itself          f. The check             1. The "reach"             2. The bathroom trick          g. The af er meal mint       6. Pranks          a. The car decorating          b. The TP ritual          c. The trifector             1. Tabletopping             2. Depantsifying             3. Nut tapping          d. The crank call          e. Revenge -Matt